I thought... think... ugh, thought Primes are 'posed to be good at stuff! Twice! Twice you end up face down! On something that could practically be diet energon!
[how convenient optimus wasn't present the one time megatron bottomed out... he says all this with the confidence of someone who hasn't spent the last few hours purging his tanks. he also thinks he is standing while he says all this. he is not.]
Utter nonsense. Primus, you're annoying. I will throw you out the airlock one day. You can tell Magnus, I don't care.
[Optimus groans loudly into the comm. Why couldn't he be irritating quietly?]
Why would I bother telling him anything? That... ugh... That would only be a threat if it came from someone who wasn't face down unconscious through our one battle together. What will you do, fall on me?
[To demonstrate, Optimus attempted to leverage himself upright off of his berth, which he didn't remember dragging himself to, and immediately gave up. He landed back on pillows he also didn't remember having put back on his berth with a heavy grunt]
If you were half as deadly as you are loud, I would consider being worried.
Oh, you have to bring that up! How convenient that's the one thing you remember, rather than your own sad performance. Didn't you get eaten by rats at one point, or something? Got your little processor gnawed out by little critters. Hah!
[megatron, fortunately, did not go with video for this one. probably for the best, because he does not look well.]
Listen, when I work out how to convince anyone who would inevitably get involved that it isn't a war thing, I will fight you. And I will win, because you Optimuses are too obsessed with honour and all that entails. No, down in the gladiator pits you fight to win! You'd be a terrible gladiator!
[a pause.]
...I suppose you'd put on an entertaining show before you got your head ripped off. I'd certainly buy tickets.
[Optimus growled feebly into a pillow which he'd forgotten was in fact very comfortable indeed during the time he'd thrown it from his berth in a fit of pique and refused to use it again, and rubbed his face on it for a few seconds in genuine delight before he remembered he was talking to the idiot]
Go ahead and challenge me, you wagon. Fight me. I don't care. You'll lose, because you and every Megatron turn every argument into a- a grand thing when it can just be stupid! Let a stupid, dumb, idiotic fight be pointless, you- you-
[He trailed off for a few moments at the pillow again, finials twitching happily, before he once again remembered that this was a vitally important and grand thing. Probably]
Yes, well. I'd buy tickets to yours, I suppose. Couldn't have been that terrible at it since you only talk about it every time you open your mouth.
Won't lose, [he mutters, a lot of the wind suddenly going out of his sails as he feels very tired and ill and he can't tell if he has the worst hangover ever or if he has one of those and a migraine or they've mixed together and made a horrible lovechild. his processor also helpfully reminds him that most of what he's attempted to do in his life has been failure, which is quite pathetic at his age, and megatron doesn't appreciate it. this makes him angry, which makes his processor throb more.
he'd sat upright, but goes back down, curling feebly on his side and holding the comm device out to glare at it like it's at fault for all his ills.] and you'd get barred at the entrance. No Primes or senators allowed.
what if i give you all my chars
Date: 2024-09-10 07:38 pm (UTC)[how convenient optimus wasn't present the one time megatron bottomed out... he says all this with the confidence of someone who hasn't spent the last few hours purging his tanks. he also thinks he is standing while he says all this. he is not.]
Utter nonsense. Primus, you're annoying. I will throw you out the airlock one day. You can tell Magnus, I don't care.
Re: what if i give you all my chars
Date: 2024-09-29 02:43 am (UTC)Why would I bother telling him anything? That... ugh... That would only be a threat if it came from someone who wasn't face down unconscious through our one battle together. What will you do, fall on me?
[To demonstrate, Optimus attempted to leverage himself upright off of his berth, which he didn't remember dragging himself to, and immediately gave up. He landed back on pillows he also didn't remember having put back on his berth with a heavy grunt]
If you were half as deadly as you are loud, I would consider being worried.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 09:11 pm (UTC)[megatron, fortunately, did not go with video for this one. probably for the best, because he does not look well.]
Listen, when I work out how to convince anyone who would inevitably get involved that it isn't a war thing, I will fight you. And I will win, because you Optimuses are too obsessed with honour and all that entails. No, down in the gladiator pits you fight to win! You'd be a terrible gladiator!
[a pause.]
...I suppose you'd put on an entertaining show before you got your head ripped off. I'd certainly buy tickets.
[wait what were they talking about again]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-04 01:07 pm (UTC)Go ahead and challenge me, you wagon. Fight me. I don't care. You'll lose, because you and every Megatron turn every argument into a- a grand thing when it can just be stupid! Let a stupid, dumb, idiotic fight be pointless, you- you-
[He trailed off for a few moments at the pillow again, finials twitching happily, before he once again remembered that this was a vitally important and grand thing. Probably]
Yes, well. I'd buy tickets to yours, I suppose. Couldn't have been that terrible at it since you only talk about it every time you open your mouth.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-04 06:16 pm (UTC)he'd sat upright, but goes back down, curling feebly on his side and holding the comm device out to glare at it like it's at fault for all his ills.] and you'd get barred at the entrance. No Primes or senators allowed.